Waiting for Newsom’s State of the State? Why bother—just DIY it!

When Gov. Newsom hit the pause button on his State of the State address back in March, it left half of California scratching their heads and the other half rolling their eyes (because let’s face it: the forecast isn’t exactly sunny in the Golden State).

But fear not, Californians – Assembly Republicans have your back with the ultimate DIY kit: Newsom Catchphrase Refrigerator Magnets!

Since a Newsom speech consists of little more than misleading factoids, gaslighting about his record and a word-salad of tech jargon that would make a Patagonia-clad Atherton resident blush, our magnets let you throw together your own gubernatorial address.

Just slap them on your fridge, and voilà—you’ve practically got Newsom in your kitchen (although we didn’t include “Prevagen” or “derivative” – sorry, Mark Liebovich).

And hey, maybe if we send a set to the governor, it might just streamline his speechwriting enough to nudge his attention back to actually running California.

But who are we kidding? He’ll just keep ignoring our state while he picks fights with Republican governors on the other side of the country.